Three months ago I did the hardest thing in my entire life….. I left my best friend, well he is more than my best friend, he is like a father to me. I left because I got a job offer across country. I cried the two days it took me to drive up here and at night for at least 2 weeks. Things have changed, for instances I quit my job because of terrible work conditions that I was being blamed for. I have been actively looking for another job and thought I would look to going back home however, I was notified by my best friend that if I was his roommate again it would hurt my social growth. Apparently, there are alot of things I am suppose to be doing socially at the age of 30, like have a boyfriend, or go on date. Apparently, I am suppose to be hanging out with a group of friends and develop platonic girl friends. Here is the thing, I dont like people, I like coming home to my dog, cats and bearded dragon. I like watching netflix series until I cant keep my eyes open. I like doing things by myself and I think I like doing it because for a good part of my life I was doing what other people wanted or deciding to go along with the crowd because people will think I am weird. I like myself and I havent been able to say that for a good percent of my life. Sure I like hanging with friends but at the same time im content with enjoying a movie alone or eating ice cream by myself. I dont like drinking so going to bars isnt really my thing plus they can be loud when I am suppose to be going to them. I got hurt when I was told I need to socially develop and I am still hurting a little bit. Why is it wrong for me to just want to hang out with myself?

1 Comment
  1. Author
    ktmarie2016 5 years ago

    Thank you. I am going to be trying new things this weekend such as, snowshoeing. I realize that I mostly have a difficult time with wanting to make friends because every time I have tried it seems that I feel I have made good friendships but then I notice that I wouldn’t get invited to things and I never found out why. Or people would tell me I am just to awkward to be around. I guess that is my true fear.

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