I'm not a natually anxious person. Before all this I could do anything and not be afraid. I've been thru a lot in life and have processed it all in a healthy way and moved on from it, but then it was like something inside my brain snapped. I'm still not convinced that what I am experiencing is all anxiety related, especially since I know that I do have certain "girly" issues. It's on days like today that I wonder about it the most. Because I feel fine. I have felt fine for days. But every once in a while as I go on with the cleaning and what not- I have "spells" where my vision goes all wonky. It doesn't stay like that but for maybe an hour or 2. And it's not distressing…. I also get tingling in my arms (and sometimes my legs too but not very often) that seems to go away when I see my Chiropractor. Also sometimes I feel very light headed for absolutely no reason at all. it happens at least once a day. The only thing I know for sure is when I get nervous I have this pain at the base of my skull, like pressure building, and the then it get's hard to swallow. Physically. It's like my brain can't make me do it. It's sooo weird. At first it freaked me out a lot and I would panic because I had no idea why it was happening. But now that I know that it happens every time I'm in an uncomfortable situation and I don't freak out about it.
It's also weird about the things I can do on my own. Like I can be home with my youngest daughter all day and be ok. Some days I can walk down the street just fine. Others I can't at all. Sometimes I can drive around town with my husband and it's like nothing has ever happened….some daysI can't make a right turn without getting dizzy. It all depends on how I'm feeling physically that day. If I feel wobbly, I get anxious about walking because I'm afraid something will happen and my kids won't know what to do, or no one will stop to help us if we need it.
I also wonder if the anxiety I do have got worse because I quit smoking. I did just drop it all of a sudden after almost 15 years because I herniated my esophagus. Not that I am going to pick it back up….it's been almost 8 months. If I can go this long- I don't need it.
Anyway. It's just things I think about sometimes. I almost want to get a C scan just to be sure that there is nothing else lurking that I don't know about. But I also don't want to be a hyopchondriac about it. Ya know?