Striping away the layers of conditioning, coping skills, uncovering the damage. Never have I ever thought I would be learning and questioning so much about myself. I sure did not expect to dive so deep. I am so much more complex and multi faceted than I ever dreamed possible. I am so driven to change the things that no longer serve me as a healthy adult. Maybe for the first time in a very long time I am safe enough to really ask question, challenge my beliefs, thoughts, behaviors. No longer needing to be in control I gain freedom to question everything. Being curious and inquisitive now has led me down so many paths that I was never free to explore or even think about before. Being safe enough has allowed me to look at myself and the world around me differently. Letting go of the armor has allowed me to gain some self compassion which has led to learning how to acknowledge the many parts that have been ignored and buried for so long.

I have always felt different from those around me. I never quite fit into the normal expectations or boxes society placed on me. I did not care to follow the crowd and am somewhat rebellious. Wanting to just do my own thing even if it means standing alone most of the time. Maybe I was never meant to fit in but to stand apart from the masses marching to the beat of my own drum.

There are still so many things I want to learn about myself. I still struggle to find my way at times, but that is all part of the learning/healing journey. I am evolving, growing, changing and deciding how I want to live my life. I am trying to not judge or shame myself but to accept, nurture and love me for me. I matter. I have inherent value, I do not have to earn or prove my worth. I have gained a new level confidence and for the most part am secure in who I am. Does that mean my work is done, NO I still have doubts and questions. I hope to always be introspective, inquisitive, curious and open to accept myself in this moment in time and look forward to the positive changes that have yet to be brought forth. I may need some help and encouragement along the way, but I will always RISE.