Partly this is just to air out what I’m feeling now, and also to get advice.

I’ve been diagnosed with depression for the past six years, but I’ve been dealing with it for nine or so years. I’ve tried several different medications (Lexapro, Welbutrin, Effexor, Paxil) With the same lack of effect. Ontop of that, I’ve got PCOS and scoliosis. The PCOS doesn’t respond to medication either, and scoliosis is, I’m told, permanent now.

Also, where I am, I can’t get my medication because I"m too far out for my insurance to cover me (and I think it expired at the end of last month…..). I can’t get renewed because I’m not a resident of that state any more. But I can’t get THIS state’s insurance yet because my new Driver’s license still hasn’t come in yet.

So basically, right now, I’m in the middle of nowhere where I know NOBODY, and I’ve been off all medication for a little over a month now. I’m trying to get an apartment, but I won’t be earning enough to pay for it. And, again, I need my new driver’s License to apply for aid to pay for the apartment.

What’s everyone’s advice about how I should get through this current situation without the depression going into overdrive?

I mean, I try to keep in touch with friends, but they need to call me as I don’t have long distance. People around here are nice, but I’ve grown up way too shy to do much of any socializing on my own. I don’t go to bars because I don’t like to drink, and the only place I DO go is the net cafe, but I can’t get the nerve to talk to people, and naturally people don’t talk to me.

My biggest challenge is fending off the depression right now. I recognize it when it comes up, but that doesn’t stop it from hurting. My depression is almost exclusively self destructive, and it makes for a hard fight sometimes.

I want to get through this without becoming a total wreck.

Help?