It\'s 12:28 and the day has already been an eventful one.

Last friday I had decided that today would be the day that I call the ex girlfriend and get some closure about why she left me, so that hopefully I could put it out of my mind a bit and move on.

I decided that I\'d call her at 12:00, and I tell ya that the preceding hour beforehand was absolutely terrifying! I was dreading calling her, didn\'t know whether I\'d burst into tears, have a anxiety attack or even say something in anger.

Got off the phone 10 minutes ago after a conversation that I didn\'t really expect.

She sounded completely normal, almost happy on the phone; we had a quick conversation about how each of us was doing, i said that I\'m slowly getting better that the anxiety is still a problem but that I think I\'m beating it. Also mentioned the self help book that I\'m reading "The Happiness Trap", which is ACT therapy (Really good, I recommend it to anybody with anxiety problems) and suggested that she should have a look at it perhaps at some point as she has trouble with depression.

The question I\'d wantedto ask her was how long she had been thinking of leavingme, as it was completelyout of the blue whenshe did break up; only three days beforeI had taken her out for a meal! She said that it had been a little while, that she had started feeling wierd whilst on holiday with her parents (abit under 2 weeks before she left). She then went on to say how she had been in a bit of a mess when we first got together, she haden\'t had enough time to properly get back on her feet from her last boyfriend, but that she fell in love with me completely and so I guess never properly resolvedher issues there.

I then asked her how much my anxiety had been a problem and in fact contributed to thebreak up and she said, quite honestly, that it had been difficult, not that it was the cause or anything but that it had been difficult.

The really surprising things where that shesaid that I could call her if I was feeling bad! So I know that she still cares about me,odd.I told herthat I probably wouldn\'t as I kind of needed some time without any contact with her. She also then said how she missed me! And missed having my presence down in Brighton….It was wierd, almost like nothing had happened between us! I mentioned that I still had feelings for her and again, that I thought that because of this we should have some time apart to "sort our heads out". She agreed.

I suppose I just find it really odd that their seems to still be such a bond between us. It\'s been only 12 days since she broke up with me so I guess that isn\'t long enough… But it really surprised me. I don\'t really know what I expected but it certainly wasen\'t that. I keep trying to tell myself that I shouldn\'t even consider the possibility of us getting back together but the thought keeps popping in. I guess I\'ll just have to de-fuse from it, ACT style!

Life is trullyodd some times.. Never see it coming!