People close to me seem to not understand. Tonight getting my daughter ready for bed I had a panic attack and shut down. My brain doesnt work when this happends. My fiance comes over and starts talking, asking questions…. Theres alotI wanna say but the words are trapped inside. My heart races andI am numb. So lets go back to 2007 I was in a car accident at 18 yo I hurt my back and lost the best job at a high hospital in Florida. I have had to learn to live with 2 slipped disk in my lower back and in my line of work (nursing) it isnt so easy. Also I stopped driving for two years after the accident because of the fear and even riding in a car is not so great. I tried to get helpfrom doctors and therapist. Doctors would put me on an anitdepressant and if it didnt work then on to the next. Two years ago I ended my 5 year relationship with a guy that i had a daughter with, who is now three. It relieved a great deal stress in my life because we faught alot andI was the only one caring for our daughter. Shortly afterI began seeing my neighbor and his old party buddy. Ryan has been great for my life. He truely does care about my daughter and I. So 24 years ( ok well 3 month shy and im only 24) of my lifei lived in the same general area of Florida and only 5 mins away from my family.I moved to Vermont in September with my daughter, fiance, his mother, sister and nephew. Three of the worst days of my life…. I threw up many times, cried, screamed and felt the worst ever but I made it. Thank god for his sister, She watched me and my freaks, getting to close to another car or 18 wheelers. I really thought I can do this. So far my anxity has been better since the move until this week. Being in Florida we didnt get snow, so i had never been in a car and how mucha carcan slide. This morning was terrible not only was it snow but rain… so slush?? I also noticed now if im the last one to go to bed im up for hours listening to every noise in this house. Its a bigger house the ive ever lived in and being in a town i dont know. I dont know what im fearing because the neighborhood is very quiet everyone knows everyone, there is no street light, and small county villiage.

Brittany

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