Having a bad day and a bad acouple of weeks battling my depression. I joined a gym and I was feeling alittle better. I am getting married in 134 days and I need to lose weight not only to feel better but to look great on my wedding day. I am only planning on having one wedding in my entire life. I have let myself go and I gain all this weight and I feel disguisting and horrible with my body image. I want to lose weight so bad and excerise I know helps. I love food, I mean the taste I have addiction issues I know. But anytime once I eat I always want more and more. I cant stop myself! I having been trying and trying but I keep failing myself. Just a battle I fight with everyday! I just feel so low. I know everyone always says portion control and excerise. But I just cant take the horrible feeling inside! I just want to be ok, the addiction part is like a drug that I feel I just cant live without. I know its true I cant live without food. But I just cant stop! I know my fiance loves me no matter what but I just get so down and it tears me apart. I hate looking in the mirror. I just am battling myself all the time! I'm so stressed and frustrated. I should be looking forward to my wedding and I am because I am marrying the man of my dreams but I am dreading putting on my dress and feeling like a fatty or look at that double chin or look at those saggy flappy arms. I'm just in tears with myself and I cant find a coping method anymore. I used what I had and now I'm here down, depressed, frustrated and feeling alone.