Last night me and my husband had a conversation about our problems that was pretty positive. I tried my best not to get angry, and he seemed to accept that there were things he really needs to change. He told me that he has realized that I have become a more mature person and passed into a new stage of my life(e.g. work, school, graduating) and he's not there yet but he wants to be. I told him that he was immature sometimes and he asked me to make a list of things he could do better, and we would talk about it tomorrow. he says the reason he acts like this is because his parents have stopped sending him money and they promised him they would.
The next morning was a whole different story. When I was getting ready for work I was thinking about things like what I was going to say(without being rude of angry) to him and how we would fix things. He asked me over and over again if I was mad and I said no, I was just thinking about things. He told me that I was the most difficult person to be with in the world…obviously this pissed me off so I told him that if he doesn't like me that much, it would be easier for us both if he left and moved back in with his parents so he can have money again. He said "Yes, I'll leave, you'll see". Then I had to leave for work.
Yesterday I was ready to have a productive conversation with him, and to try my best to be supportive…now I really don't give a shit. I don't want to talk to him at all because it's obviously a waste of my time. I try so hard to understand his problems and to control my anger…and this is what I get!!!! Plus I pay all the bills, buy all the food, and without me he would be an illegal immigrant sitting on his ass out in the cold. He wants me to stay and keep me chained to this unhappy relationship. I'm looking into seeing a lawyer on Monday about getting our marriage anuled or getting a divorce. I don't know what would happen if we weren't together…I feel like this marriage has become my life. i can't live with him and I can't live without him. I already know what will happen….he'll tell me how sorry he is, that he didn't mean any of it, and he only said it because it was early in the morning. I have no idea what to do. Even if we went to marriage counseling it wouldnt solve anything because he would insist that everything was fine…he hates looking bad infront of other people.
I need help!!!!!!