Possibly the thing that makes me angriest in life besides animal cruelty or child abuse is the feeling that someone has taken advantage of me. And the fact that it has happened not once, not twice, but several times is beyond comprehension to me. Makes me feel as though I must give out some sort of a vibe. Because again, I am not a passive person. So it is very hard for me to understand how I have gotten myself into that situation over and over again. Even in my romantic relationships with men, and now apparently in my friendships. They've all taken advantage of me in some significant way. So obviously something inside me must be attracting this to myself for a reason, although I cannot imagine why.

I'm honestly still so bitter and brokenhearted by the unabashed and swift departure of those supposed "close" friends a few years ago. Personally, I could never in a million years imagine doing something like that to anyone in need, much less someone who'd been there for me as much as I'd been there for them over the years. And I'd been there for them through quite a bit. F**K!!!! I can feel the anger rising and the worst part about it is that it only exists to hurt me. After all this pain and betrayal, this is my final insult, my prize: Anger that exists only to hurt me. Those who left me here to suffer alone got to go on and live their fulfilling lives with new friends, new memories and new laughter, without so much as a glance back in my direction. And I get to be angry at my own peril. FANTASTIC. Thanks, apparent "ScrewMeOver" sign on my forehead, Thanks, a-holes. Thanks, anger. Also, f**k the three of you.

1 Comment
  1. warsawfalcon03 10 years ago

    I know the feelings you are experiencing and it sucks.  The realization is these people really weren't your friends, not in the meaningful manner that you held them.  In life there are the givers and the takers and unfortunately it can take a serious problem occuring for us to realize who is who in our lives  I hope you are able to find a med. that will help, I know it took trying more than one to find something that so far has helped.   The number one thing I have found in dealing with depression and the hurt and anger that has resulted , is it truelly is one step at a time.  When I couldn't go iat at one day at a time, I had to start , looking at one hour at a time.  If you are able to do this it does get better.  God Bless.

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