The funny thing about depression is its ignorance. You are convinced there is nothing left, not even a speckle of light left amidst days spent in sunlight. Life seems miserable. Your heart aches. Your mind is blurred. You know, there was this house I used to pass everyday on my way home. A small little broken cottage, right in the middle of acres and acres of burnt yellow grass. I would begin to dream about that house, finding myself attracted to it like bees to a flower. My mind would create the perfect scenario. I would run away, one day, and go to that house, god knows do what once I got there. Some days I left a bag packed just in case, some days different instruments to play out an orchestra of demise. I was obsessed with death, the idea I needed to die. I was convinced I had lost life, that I was just an empty shell of what I used to be.I'll be honest now, you are a coward if you want to commit suicide. You don't quit on life. You don't throw this life away, just because it goes horribly wrong. You don't look at the clouds; the way they drift into another, or the sun; burning your eyes shut, and think for a second that this isn't life. This is life. This is wonder. This is redeeming, what I used to think was strength and courage; believing. Strength is not being able to give away your life because its unbearable. Strength is holding your hands clasped so tightly, they go numb. Its a prayer to a god that may or may not exist, the one who can save me. Strength is taking the coldest part of your heart, and forcing it to beat again. Strength is life and love.
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04.02.2013
fragile_things, , Depression, Relationships, 2
i really unsure what to do about my boyfriend! its fine when im with him ,which is only at...
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Are my planets out of alignment?
Kit, , Depression, Career, Depression, Divorce, Suicide, 0
I feel horrifically sick today! My emotional self is making the physical part of me sick. I feel nausea,...
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Psychoanalysis of the movie CYRUS
eli1, , Depression, Anxiety, Child, Depression, Relationships, Schizophrenia, 0
I finished watching a movie called CYRUS. I just wanted to pen down some of my thoughts and analysis...
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So Confused
deidrexx, , Depression, Anger, Relationships, Sleep Disorders, Therapist, 0
So confused and upset right now. I am on good terms with K, but I feel miserable. I used...
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My body is tired
NevaehKane, , Depression, Chronic Pain, Grief, Medication, Therapist, Therapy, Weight Loss, 1
There are days when I wake up and I just close my eyes again and I can't help but...
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Black Ick
ashescapist, , Depression, Addiction, Career, Depression, Religion, Sleep Disorders, Therapist, 0
I'm just existing. I realize now what I've been feeling lately. I've been feeling terribly lonely, yes. But I...
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Disapointed
Thendaramoon, , Depression, Anxiety, Relationships, 0
So I know that I have been saying that I have been trying to proceed with caution. And I...
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Create new possibilities
LonelyFemaleForever, , Depression, Anxiety, Depression, 1
I was thinking on how much I might have missed by not getting close to some people because of...