So my mom is bi polar. She is also addicted to pain medication. She has to take pain medication because she has had multiple back surgeries. She left when I was four and was a crack head until I was 12. She came back into my life but was taking these pain medicines for her back. 21 now, still the same. She has lots of trouble controlling herself because of her mental illness. Her bi polar has put such a wedge in our relationship, not to mention the abandonment as a child, that I dread talking to her on any level. We live together, me and my fiance and our two little girls. We split all of the bills. For a few months now she has been doing great controlling her emotions and staying positive, I could really tell she was managing it well. But, the past couple of days has not been like that. She has been very snippy and hostile. Trying to start fights then denying she has any problem with anything. I have been shrugging it off as her every month bi polar episode and been very careful with my words and not feeding into the baits for a fight. But, last night I just got so sick of it. She was being so frantic and irratic and angry and sad, I confronted her and it was off. She was so argumentative and dramatic feeding off of the negativitiy. Screaming and yelling and crying and saying crazy things and lies. She said she was moving out, I said great just let me know a date so I can make plans for us. Then she says crying and hyperventalating that she has no where to go. This went on and on, her finding anything mean or fight provoking and using it as fuel to go bonkers. It hit the peak when she threw an empty fishtank down the stairs and shattered it all over. She then vigorously and irraticly cleaned it up for over an hour. I wanted to call the police so badly. But, I feared the guilt I would have for commiting her. My fiance works with mentally ill people like this and he really wanted to call on her but respected my fear. She was saying she wanted to die and all this other stuff and I know I should have called. I should have the second I heared the fishtank hit the ground. She needs help and is so obviously not taking her care into her own hands. She needs to get better. She needs to get better for herself and for everyone she cares about. Her fits like this cause me so much anxiety and make me so sad. I dont need the stress. It is really getting old. I feel like someone needs to do something, and I feel like no one else is going to. She is not going to be responsible and I do worry about her being a threat to herself or others. She took a handful of pills and said she was taking her medicine before she forgot. Attention seeking behavior should really be her middle name. I should have called. Next time I will, no matter how scared I am of the guilt. My kids and my family do not need to be sucked into her craziness or witness sucj chaos and disaster. It is my job to protect my kids, and she is so unstable right now. Whats even more is the second she feels better she will be saying she is so sorry and she didnt mean anything and this and that. I am tired of it. She is a fifty year old woman and should be able to handle herself. She should get it together, or I will be forced to get it together for her. When I was a kid I just wanted a mom. Ever since I was 12 I have been wishing I just had a real mom. People that have moms that they can talk to, trust, rely on, love, hang out with, and share things with are so lucky. They dont even know how lucky they are to have a mom that is not going to cry and hyperventalate over nothiing talking about killing herself while frantically cleaning up the shattered glass of the fish tank she hurddled down the stairs. I know life is not supposed to be easy, darkest before dawn and on and on, but come on really?

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