Today I woke up, rather late, because I had late night last night with my boyfriend. We watched a film and cuddled, which was really nice and I really liked it. But then instead of having a pleasant end to the evening, he got up and started doing the washing and cleaning. Which yes is really nice and something I have been wanting to see happening. But I wanted to be nice and give us a night off from doing work and then it together the next day, and just enjoy the night together. I was too tired to do any of that stuff last night, and I am thankful that he did those things last night. But i ended up sleeping in late with him, because it was nice cuddling up to him in bed. But then I felt bad for not gettin up and I had lots of stuff to today and wanted to get up early and take the dogs for a walk. But he stayed in bed, and I got up and then he was asking me to stay in bed and cuddle him because he missed me. It was nice being wanted and being missed and i did want to go back to bed and cuddle but it was almost 11.30 am!! I had to get up and then he sounded so rejected and it hurt me so much. I asked him if he wanted to come join me and he said no. So i left it as i didnt want to be a b**** and force him to do something he didnt want to do. I am hard enough on him as it as, I he doesnt get enough time to himself and he's always putting me first generally, but I do wish he'd listen and for once in his life get up early and not make a fuss and make me feel awful in the process. I dont know. I just dont want to feel like I am being a complete and utter cow to him all the time and feel like I am compromising my own needs adn wants for him! I just feel stuck.

1 Comment
  1. Tesla 10 years ago

    Sounds like you and your boyfriend had a nice evening cuddling and watching a movie together. I love to cuddle! That’d definitely be a highlight of my evening. ^.^ It’s good he’s willing to clean. You seem to really appreciate him putting an effort into keeping the place looking nice. I know you wanted him to clean during a certain time, but as you said, it’s really just a helpful thing that he cleaned regardless of when. 🙂

    I like waking up all wrapped in someone else’s arms, too lol. It’s such a nice way to rustle me out of deep sleep. As if staying in bed isn’t hard enough as is! lol  Add on a cuddle buddy into that scenario.. now that’s really hard to leave your bed lol. I’m not exactly all giddy when the sun comes up.

    It really sounds like you had a tough time getting up and wanted to stay wrapped in your boyfriend’s arms in a comfy bed all warm under blankets. Yet you made yourself get up and do things that you didn’t want to do. That’s hard. It is easier when someone else accompanies you on doing something difficult. And definitely harder when someone else encourages you to not do something you need to do. But you did what you had to do regardless of all those obstacles! That’s awesome! 🙂

    You sound like you’re being rather hard on yourself. Saying you don’t want to be a b**** and say you’re a cow. You’re certainly not a cow or a b****. You did something hard in getting up this morning. Perhaps writing down what you do need from him would help? And then share that with him. Write down the things that really affect your day and that you could use extra help with. Working out those kinks of who does what (so that one person isn’t doing all the work) takes some time and sometimes arguing.. it’s worth it when you get your needs met even though arguing does suck. I hope you and your boyfriend can work things out. 🙂

    Sorry for the long comment! guess I was in a writing mood this morning lol

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