Today I woke up, rather late, because I had late night last night with my boyfriend. We watched a film and cuddled, which was really nice and I really liked it. But then instead of having a pleasant end to the evening, he got up and started doing the washing and cleaning. Which yes is really nice and something I have been wanting to see happening. But I wanted to be nice and give us a night off from doing work and then it together the next day, and just enjoy the night together. I was too tired to do any of that stuff last night, and I am thankful that he did those things last night. But i ended up sleeping in late with him, because it was nice cuddling up to him in bed. But then I felt bad for not gettin up and I had lots of stuff to today and wanted to get up early and take the dogs for a walk. But he stayed in bed, and I got up and then he was asking me to stay in bed and cuddle him because he missed me. It was nice being wanted and being missed and i did want to go back to bed and cuddle but it was almost 11.30 am!! I had to get up and then he sounded so rejected and it hurt me so much. I asked him if he wanted to come join me and he said no. So i left it as i didnt want to be a b**** and force him to do something he didnt want to do. I am hard enough on him as it as, I he doesnt get enough time to himself and he's always putting me first generally, but I do wish he'd listen and for once in his life get up early and not make a fuss and make me feel awful in the process. I dont know. I just dont want to feel like I am being a complete and utter cow to him all the time and feel like I am compromising my own needs adn wants for him! I just feel stuck.
I cant do anything right!
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ha
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