I’m glad the holidays are over! All the fake family cheer with my husband’s family I’m glad it’s over. My kids did finally get some thoughtful present from his family for once. Not that gifts are important and this my kids do know and appreciate anything they get but it’s just that in all these years my in-laws have no clue who we are and have no interest in getting to know us. IMO anyways. Eveyone does their own thing and then when the holidays come that’s when they are a "family". It makes me sick. We had a nice time at my families house (we always do), but I had this uncomfortable feeling and just could not enjoy myself. As I stated in my previous post we are still on the verge of becoming homeless. I spoke to the social worker about getting emergency aide and he said they don’t do that and can’t do anything until the case is approved by a supervisor and also a home visit is the final step which they are behind in getting those done for ppl. He has the nerve to tell me to be patient. I was like wtf! I said to him well I don’t see how they can do a home visit if we become homeless. I am just so pissed off. And my husband keeps pressuring me and I had no choice but to ask my mom for financial help. I have asked her for help so many times and have yet to pay her on what i already owe her. So hench the scum/dirt bag feelings I have. My mom shouldn’t have to bail me out of my problems but what choice do I have. I am crying inside and feel sick to my stomach for having to do this. I have a massive headache and am at a really low point right now. I am hustling putting applications in and sending out resumes and I still can’t get a job. I feel worthless and like an ungratful daughter. Even though I can pay her back when I get my taxes at the end of january begining of february i still feel like shit. Why do these things always happen. Why can’t I just find a job I like and feel comfortable doing and pays well. It doesn’t help that I have anxiety and working makes it ten times worse. I hate this! I hate this! I HATE THIS!!!!!!!
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Thank you guys so much for your thought and prayers. I am trying to hang in there it just gets hard sometimes. I am glad I can come here and vent and get ppl to support me and that know what I am going through. Thank you guys again. It really means alot. Big Hugs.
Eve