This morning I tried to convey my perspective to the person with which I was having an issue. And I realized something. Throughout a large part of my life, I've found that I continuously apologize for things that aren't of my doing.

Some say its being the 'better person', others say its being 'mature'. Regardless, I find myself constantly being made to fill this position. At this moment, I'd like to thank those who have sent me messages and words of wisdom regarding issues I'm trying to overcome.  Without those words to finally wake me up, I'd have once again apologized.

I'm sick of this woman always being so foul towards me. What kind of a person lashes out with name-calling when all you've done, literally, is come into a room and taken a seat? I've at least realized that her depression and insecurity is not a product of things I've done to her.  Having someone: clean your home everyday, wash your dirty clothing everyday, cook meals (which you don't eat) everyday, schedule your appointments everyday, keep track of your schedule everyday … (all at your behest!) isn't something that usually instills a spiteful sense of insecurity and hatefulness.

I can't be around an individual who can only always be right. There's just something inherently *wrong* when you think you're above the logical thinking of others. I can't be a scapegoat or emotional punching bag because you're bi-polar. Being bi-polar isn't an excuse to verbally and emotionally abuse the people who have chosen to stand by your side.

I've finally realized that the people here are right. I won't find my self-worth in scathing words and days of punishment by silence. Its going to be so difficult to get my finances back together and venture out, but, I'm doing it. Because if I don't, it will prove to me that I've become co-dependent on a very hateful and sad individual.

My only regret is really for her. Because once I'm gone, I'm gone.


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