“i wasn’t the part of the whole picture, but only a piece of puzzle that didn’t fit…. and all you’re doing is getting rid of the piece and you’ll be in search to find the piece that fits… and whoever fits to that hole still won’t be in the picture when the puzzle is completed”…..

that was something i said to my ex wife during the divorce, 2 years ago(and also dealing with newly diagnosed bipolar disorder). one of countless many nasty and bitter things i said to her when i was being dumped.

I spent a lot of time, wondering why i don’t feel ‘complete’ by myself. you heard it before… “you have to be complete and be happy alone before you can be happy with others in your life”

that’s biggest bullshit on earth.

what are your feelings on people who are ‘clingy’? not too positive, is it? i mean, Jerry Maguire.. in the movie, people make fun of him because he always ‘need’ someone in his life and clingy…

so what?

can you really live on an island all by yourself?
if you can, does that really make you a better person?

if you do live on an island, and not have people close in your heart cuz you don’t ‘need’ it… you think you’re ‘all that’ and strong, but all it makes you, i think is a hard headed stubborn idiot that can’t let others in your life. (mostly, cuz of the stubbornness or unwillingness to trust)

2 years ago, i wanted to be in that picture… i wanted it so bad that i almost died..

i worked my butt off to become ‘complete’ all on my own. i guess that was the thing to do, when you hear from your other half, “you need to be complete all on your own…. then come back to me and we might be together again”. like i said, i wanted to be in the picture.

but i had it all wrong…. i had it wrong all along.

and even until last week, i was telling a friend “quit being so clingy, all you’re doing is driving the guy away!” actually, all that’s doing is driving the wrong guy away, and nothing wrong with that.

when you totally and completely love a person, you are the extension of that person and vise versa. when you’re feeling incomplete when the the other half is gone, it’s okay. that’s the way it should be.

what is so bad about being ‘clingy’? we as society really does look at that as being ‘weak’. but isn’t the real weakness being ‘alone’ and feeling complete? like i said before, all that means is that you’re not trusting enough to let others in. why is that a positive trait? you read people’s description on myspace etc… how many times do you see a person being proud that they’re ‘independent’? do you see anyone describing themselves as ‘Dependant and clingy’?

accept yourself as being clingy. don’t fight it. all it means is that your heart is big enough to let others in. you accept yourself as who you are, and you watch people become a part of you, not just accepting you.

and if they associate you being ‘clingy’ or ‘needy’ as being insecure, then be it. a very confident person, you go up to her and say ‘boy, you look fat today!’ and see how confident she really is. yeah, nothing like a person who says ‘ha, it doesn’t bother me none!’ and seeing the person in bad mood all day long, and never wearing that same outfit ever again.

shoot for higher grounds.

to my beautiful new wifie, i’m her whole picture… and i’m partially in every piece of the puzzle… i’m learning that i’m also the frame, the glass protecting the picture… i’m the beautifully decorated wall where the picture hangs.. and i’m the house that holds the wall and the picture.

and she’s every bit of everything i am to her and more…..

when you love is so very deep and complete, there are no insecurities… person you love can be foundation, the frame, the support.. the walls.. the roof.. cuz you know deep in your heart, even the death won’t separate your souls.

when you love is real, you complete each other… and you’re stronger person than you’d ever be alone.