For once I would like to sleep in my own bed and not have to breath in smoke and ash. My bf smokes (which I hate) and he is never considerate of watching the way he smokes. I realize it’s almost impossible not to get some smoke smell on you but he sits while he smiles and let’s itnget all over him as he’s hunched over doing so. He told me he would quit and hasn’t. He’s broken so many promises to me that I’m just so fucking over this guy. I don’t want him around me because he stinks. I know it sound mean but I hate the smell of the cheap tobacco he uses to roll cigarettes. Everything he does anymore irritate the shit out of me. I’m so unhappy and just want out. We are not a couple we are just room mates. Fuck this is so sad and pathetic. I tried picturing a future with him and there is none. Fuck I hate feeling bad and guilty for not living this man anymore. He’s disappointed me so much 😔 I have so much to deal with and just can’t deal with his shit. I must sound so selfish and like a bitch but I’m so over it

 

Did I mention I have respiratory problems and have to sleep with my blanket over my mouth and nose so I won’t breath in the ash/smoke in. I can’t sleep well because it’s hard for me to breath. I am forced to sleep on the couch that is uncomfortable as fuck. Grrrrrrr!

 

Depeche Mode

“Leave In Silence”

I’ve told myself so many times before
But this time I think I mean it for sure
We have reached a full stop
Nothing’s going to save us from the big dropReached our natural conclusion
Outlived the illusion
I hate being in these situations
That call for diplomatic relations
If I only knew the answer
Or I thought we had a chance
Or I could stop this
I would stop this thing
From spreading like a cancer

What can I say
I don’t want to play anymore
What can I say
I’m heading for the door
I can’t stand this emotional violence
Leave in silence
Leave in silence

We’ve been running around in circles all year
Doing this and that and getting nowhere
This will be the last time
I think I said that last time

If I only had a potion
Some magical lotion
That could stop this
I would set the wheels in motion

Depeche Mode

“Secret To The End”

Oh when I look at you
I’m probably the same way too
I got a feeling that it’s coming soon
Could this be the endWhen I look around this room
There must be something I can do
Can I convince you that it isn’t true
We’ve come to the end

Oh did I disappoint you
I wanted to believe it’s true
Oh the book of love was not enough
To see us through
The problem
Should have been you (Should have been you)
Should have been you (Could have been you)
Should have been you (Would have been you)
(Should have been you, Would have been you)
If it hadn’t been me
(Would have been you, Could have been you)
Should have been you (Should have been you)
Should have been you (Would have been you)
(Should have been you)
If it hadn’t been me

It seems so obvious to you
You’re feeling what I am feeling too
The final chapter in the contract expires soon
We’ve come to the end

Thank God I’m not the same as you
You always know exactly what to do
It’s who I am, is not for you
We’ve come to the end

Oh did I disappoint you
I wanted to believe it’s true
Oh the book of love was not enough
To see us through
The problem
Should have been you (Should have been you)
Should have been you (Could have been you)
Should have been you (Would have been you)
(Should have been you, Could have been you)
If it hadn’t been me
(Would have been you, Could have been you)
Should have been you (Should have been you)
Should have been you (Would have been you)
(Should have been you)
If it hadn’t been me

(Could have been you, Should have been you, Could have been you)
Would have been you (Would have been you)
Should have been you (Could have been you, Should have been you, Could have been you)
If it hadn’t been me (Would have been you, Could have been you, Would have been you)
If it hadn’t been me (Would have been you, Would have been you, Should have been you)
If it hadn’t been me (Should have been you, Could have been you, Should have been you)
If it hadn’t been me (Could have been you, Could have been you, Could have been you)
If it hadn’t been me

2 Comments
  1. rick0101 3 years ago

    Hey,

    I’m guessing it must be still the middle of the night where you are but I hope you manage to get some sleep! I know the feeling though, my ex used to smoke and it made me feel sick when it filled the room!

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  2. Author
    Mz_Unda_Std 3 years ago

    Sorry. I jist saw bith of yoyr responses. I didnt get any alerts. Anyway… He smokes outside but the way he sits it’s gets all over him. It smells so bad. I have tried to be tolerant of it but I just can’t anymore. I have kids and the second hand smoke is a big concern.

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