I am in the beginnings of a panic attack. I am struggling today for no apparent reason other than the tension headaches I’ve been dealing with for weeks now. I have been re-reading my panic and ocd books and one of the chapters caught my attention and I honestly don’t remember it the first time around. Self awareness. When you are so aware of your body that you are almost obsessing about every feeling and sound. I think this is what I am experiencing. I think that my moms illness paired with my own sensitivity has made it to the point where I am concentrating so hard that I am freaking myself out over everything. My mom has cancer undetected in her body for at least a year before she was diagnosed and now I am at that point where I am like headache? Or brain tumor? Am I going to have a stroke? What’s wrong with me?! My aren’t my eyes focusing? Do I have ms? This cycle is exhausting. I am trying to be less aware but also more aware of that makes sense. Today is not the best.
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New here- not sure how this works. Just wanted to see if talking to others with similar issues would help. Ive struggled for years and seen therapists and psychiatrists- mostly depression and GAD. Seeing a therapist currently and looking for a psychiatrist to maybe change meds~ not sure yet- I’m not even sure they’ve diagnosed me correctly or at least with the depression part- thinking I could be bipolar but never confirmed for sure-
I am sorry. I totally understand, nobody deserves this kind of life.