First I want to say thanks to people who commented on my blog or on my page. Still not entirely sure how to use this new site. I guess I need to make my profile more spiffy like the rest of you? lol.
I\'ve survived this weekend pretty well. I slept in and skipped class Friday. I wanted to spend time with a friend friday night but she was busy. I ended up staying in my dorm room by myself, got pretty lonely and depressed fast. Cried a great deal. But I think it\'s just what happens… You\'re anxious, you feel out of control, you get sad because you can\'t control yourself. I talked with my roommate about it though, and cried on her shoulder. She thinks I need more of a support group here, need to make more friends. She\'s suggesting that I should check out campus groups to try and make friends, be social, find things to make me happy. I think I\'ll try that if I can find the time, because it certainly isn\'t a bad idea, so why not try?
I haven\'t had a cigarette since Thursday and I\'m quite proud of this too. I figure I\'m not stressed so I have no reason to smoke… I\'ll stay away from them. I\'m considering going to my school\'s counseling services as well. Even though I feel like I don\'t have anything to talk about, it might be helpful…neccessary…
What scares me most lately is that I feel out of control with my emotions. They\'re not mine anymore, in some cases. This weekend… not counting friday… I\'ve managed fairly well. Then again, I didn\'t do much, so my stress was likely low. I\'m trying to stay positive and happy.
It also helps that I spent time with my dearest friend. I\'d almost consider her more than a friend. We have a strange relationship. I love her so much. 🙂 She\'s the only thing, out of all of this, that makes me happier than anything else in the world. That\'s why I\'m thankful for her. And for my other friends, as few of them as I may have right now…So, thankful. Yes.