Everytime I rant to friends about how things aren’t fair that’s the answer I get, "who told you life was going to be fair?"
Okay, so its not fair and its never going to be, but does that mean I’m supposed to just deal and not be frustrated by that fact of life?
This week was a very tough one. On Monday afternoon my boss tells me that we are going to have a "meeting" the next day with my other supervisor and when I asked she said that yes, there were some "issues". So Tuesday comes and the meeting is actually a review and not a good one. Never in my life have I been told the things that they told me that day about my performance at work. Not to toot my own horn but I’m a damn good employee. I work hard, do pretty much anything I’m asked, rarely miss work and while I may not always have a smile on my face, I’m not a complainer.
Oh sure, I’m not perfect. I check my personal email at work and may browse online a bit but geez, not nearly as much as many of the people around me. I make mistakes but I’ve never cost the organization money and nothing I have ever done has caused anyone more work except me.
So its not fair. But what am I supposed to do about it? Finding a new job in this economy is tough and I don’t want to just run away from the situation. I can only do my best but if that’s not good enough for them, what then?
And so the frustration and anger and unfairness of it all just builds and builds and I have nowhere to put it. There is no resolution. There is no help. Counseling is too expensive and the medication only takes lessens the feelings of utter dispair. So where to turn…
So here I am on this site praying that I can find some answers to how to find happiness and some contentment in my life. Is there hope? Well, there isn’t fairness, but maybe hope exists. We’ll see.