Today has just had me in a slump. I woke up around 11:00 and then I just felt really crappy. A few hours later I saw some people I thought I had become close friends with, hanging out at another mutual friends house. Normally it wouldn’t be such a big deal, but the activities that were going on today were things that I had been giving opinions about and trying to get going for a while. I was told all the time that they would definitely hit me up when they were gonna do it, only to find out later on that they didn’t even think about inviting me. I know it’s a dumb thing to get so down over but I thought that I had really been making some really good new friends and moving on with my social life. Maybe not….
I’ve had so many instances where I felt like I didn’t belong. Ever since elementary school, i’ve felt very isolated from my peers. I just wanted to fit in and be like everyone else because it seemed like if I did, I wouldn’t be alone anymore. So many of my friendships have been surface level and no deeper and whenever i thought i found a true friend, I realize in the end that they were still the kind of people that would talk behind my back. Sometimes I would hear about the things being said and other times I figured out by the way they would talk about their other friends to me that they were doing the same when I wasn’t around. Why is it so easy for others to see the bad in a person before they see the good??? Is it really so hard just to accept others for who they are rather than making fun of them?