Tomorrow I have therapy and part of me wants to go and the other part of me wants to run and hide in a corner. Tomorrow I am giving a list of my obsessions and compulsions in their entirety to her to look over. I know she isn’t going to judge me as she has told me she has heard it all, but not even my mother knows about it all and that’s huge since my mother and I rarely have secrets. There is going to be this other person in the world that knows things about me that I have never told anyone. I want to lie, I want to tell her that they are minor and all I do is count stuff. I want this woman to look at me and not see some nut case. I also want to get better and live a life where every moment isn’t consumed with the stuff I need to do or can’t get out of my head. I realize the only way for me to get better is for someone to give me the knowledge to help myself. I am not looking forward to tomorrow.