Help! I struggle on the daily and i dont know what to do any more! I think about it when i sleep- i think about it when i am awake. Help! Here we go… is it weird that i question my  sexuality  every single day. Yes i clasify my self as gay. But really dont know how to embrace it or love it! Here is my story which i have never told a single soul. I was sexually 😩😩 abused by a man since i was about 4 yrs old until about 9. I only got away because i move to the states with my family. For many  years i didnt think of it. But the last 10 yrs i have. That situation has really put a damper on my spirit. For some reason i am scared or frighten on everything, but most of all my sexuality. I havent been able to really get close to anyone. My biggest fear is that i consider my self gay only because i was introduce to sex early and with a man And maybe i am gay because of that. I wish i knew i was born gay.  I hate the fact that i dont know if i was born gay or gay because i am comfortable around sex with men. Everyone always has their story of when they realized they were gay. Some fell in love, some knew they were atteacted to the same sex, but for me… i dont have that story! I have so much resetment- i dont even talk to my family and only have a mediocure relationship with my parents. I also blame all my family for not looking out for me and not protecting me. I hate feeling like a victim. But  i just want it to stop! HELP!!!!!😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩

  1. bridgie101 5 years ago

    I think sexuality is part of the endocrine system. which is to say, a child has no sexuality, and then they hit puberty and their endocrine system kicks in, producing this much of this hormone, this much of that; and then the child grows into an adult which is either sexually attracted to men, sexually attracted to women, sexually attracted to both, or sexually attracted to neither.

    The only thing I can think of to suggest is to ask yourself who you have crushes on. Sexual crushes. Who you think about when you lie in bed at night getting all horny.

    that’s the gender you’re interested in.

    I understand you’re saying ‘but I’m used to sex with men, so that’s my normal’ but someone’s normal isn’t what is in their heart. You can be a gay man married for twenty years, and still not change teams. History is littered with men in the closet. Likewise, if you were heterosexual and locked into marriage with a guy, you couldn’t change what you fundamentally were, you would just become increasingly more unhappy and you’d still lust after women.

    The world is as it is because people can’t conform to gender stereotypes even whey they try to. They’re stuck with having to be themselves regardless. So I’d say be single for a while, and see who, in your darkest nights, you dream of. Cos that’s who you want.

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  2. puraeomallia 5 years ago

    I am a gay gal with the cold hard truth for you.

    You were born gay, and most likely, you’ll always be gay.

    Your sexual assaults as a child have no connection to your sexuality, those events are a completely separate and disgusting phenomena.

    All I can tell you is that being gay is fun as hell, it’s not as boring as being straight (sorry to the straights!) and you wont be overly worried about male creeps who want to flirt with you 24/7 (assuming you’re a woman).

    “If you can’t love yourself, how the hell are you gonna love somebody else?” – RuPaul

    Good luck!

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