I feel like I'm' slowly drift away bit by bit. Each layer of life slowly peeling away revealing what pathetic truth lies beneath it. I recently pushed away my best friend and a few of my other close friends are moving away with their famiilies. I have nothing to look forward in life. My social life is spending countless weekend evenings watching tv. I often wonder about the various ways I could end this turmoil. I have no emotionally support whatsoever at home. My best friend is a narcissistic sexual deviant pig who I cannot share my feelings with. The only thing I have to look forward to is work which is overrated considering I'm clearly overpaid for the simple tasks I do and even that is starting to lose its appeal. I thought I could bury myself in materialistic goods, but truth be told, it cannot; money cannot buy happiness. I have yet to engage into a full relationship with another being. Ironically, the very thing that propels me to engage into a relationship is also pushing me away from social interaction for fear of rejection. My mother has OCD as well as a family history of retardation; perhaps I have it, too which would explain why I'm so alienated away from family and friends. I once felt important guiding the very mutual acquiantances I had that trusted me with intimate details about their relationships, but that is no longer is the case. I think I'm in the wrong field; studying psychology when I clearly am suffering from major depression among other things. I feel that nobody truly understands me. I'm not even quite sure why I even googled this site and started blogging. Maybe this will do me some good until I take the final plunge. Pun intended (Nestea).
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Him
imogen, , Depression, Addiction, Sexual Abuse, Sleep Disorders, 0
still love him. its almost been a year- nothing has changed. i still think of him each day,...
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Today is hard…
RandyLee, , Depression, Anxiety, Career, Depression, Relationships, Stress, 0
Some days just don’t feel right. Nothing has changed and I am doing what I am suppose to be...
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Lost me trying to love u
Kitkat84, , Depression, Grief, 1
Lately I don’t feel like my self anymore I feel so drained Feel like I’m getting worse by the...
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CARING TOO MUCH FOR THE WRONG THING
Softangel777, , Depression, Divorce, Relationships, Religion, Sexual Abuse, Therapy, 0
Which is greater in God’s eyes: the marriage or the people of the marriage? A harmonous marriage between a...
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Help
Maya03, , Anxiety, Depression, Relationships, 0
Me and my boyfriend fought again last night, I might be losing my best friend from 3rd grade (i’m...
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They
sadjac, , Depression, Sex Therapy, 2
They laugh loudly. I can hear them. They laugh from out on the street. Everytime the street light goes...
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I survived
sadjac, , Depression, Child, Sleep Disorders, 0
Well i’m back from my babysitting adventure. IN the most part the kids were actually really good. The 2...
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Dreams of being a “Somebody”…
gomizzou, , Depression, Anxiety, Depression, 1
Was just on Facebook… saw that one friend is starting to write a blog online for a local newspaper…a...
I have felt like this recently. I used to have a small group of close friends, and last year I realized a few of them just weren't good friends so i stopped contacting them. Then my best friend moved halfway across the country. Then my boyfriend moved 3 hrs away for college and we broke up. I really don't talk to anyone anymore. I'm actually kind of jealous of you b/c you're a student! I'm 24 and feel like I'm wasting my life away b/c I'm not in college, feel so confused, don't know what I want. I want to be in school but don't know what i want to do. When family gatherings like Thanksgiving and Christmas roll around, i feel embarrassed when relatives ask what I've been up to lately…b/c it's usually nothing! I feel kinda worthless most of the time.