The weather is beautiful today, and I am going to the beach soon. Charlie’s going to come along. He’s going to play guitar, and I am going to take pictures, and maybe sing a little. It should be fun. Maybe, I’ll even stop by Armadillo’s Pillow (an awesome used book shop), or the little African trinket hut, near the beach – I’ve been wanting a new charm.
I can’t wait to be well enough to travel. There are places I want to go, and people I want to see. Robert, in Portland… my friend Ben, and Lady Bob in Iowa… and, I would like to head out east, to see Ace.
"Dark clouds coming, honey we go to the sea. Dark clouds coming, honey we go to the sea. Dark clouds coming, honey we go to the sea – slip out the back door and leave our cars. Leave everybody inside wondering where we are."
Ever since the counselor I had a relationship with left my outpatient program, I have been hesitant to settle in with anyone new. I took steps toward changing that, today. One reason I had hesitated was that budget cuts had taken nearly all the rea counselors away, and we were left with mostly interns to choose from. There are a couple non-interns, but they are so busy that they probably couldn’t make time for me in a pinch, or on a whim (and thats mostly what I need). I’m gonna need the support to push through this, so I went ahead, and set myself up with a new intern, today. Yeah, a RL counselor would be better, but I can get a more qualified therapist through my insurance to untangle my more complicated emotional issues. This is just a shoulder that I can cry on, right now. Someone I can rant to – because, sometimes, I just need to hear myself talk (or see my words written), to become aware of how absurd my thoughts really are.
It’s a decision I feel pretty good about. Like buying those groceries, or paying Jordan some of the money I owe him – these things tell me I am moving in the right direction.
I am happy, right now, and trying to hold on to that feeling.
"Pull you in close, lay you naked down on your back. Pull you in close, lay you naked down on your back. Pull you in close, lay you naked down on your back. Oh, life has been good to me – turn a little phrase and give you my sympathy."
And, no, I’m not getting laid. Just fixating, like always.
No scoring of any kind… haha…
But, I think I heard somewhere that good things come to those who wait. Or, maybe it was, that’s it’s good to come… after you’ve had to wait. Ah, both are probably true.
"Waited for the rain, and the rain it finally came. Waited for the rain, and the rain it finally came. We waited for the rain, and the rain it finally came. And it came, and it came, oh yes. Like compliments to a brand new summer dress… oh, yes…" (Mason Jennings, "Summer Dress")